Help! Our relationship is stagnating and I’m bored!
It’s not just a cliché in movies, over time in a committed relationship things can get a little…well…boring! Does this mean you should break up? Has the relationship run it’s course? I mean, if it’s no fun why bother doing it! For some couples this will be a larger problem than for others and it largely depends on your lifestyle.
The most common complaint when it comes to a stagnating relationship is the monotony of routine. Monday morning, wake up, breakfast, work, come home, watch TV together, sleep. Tuesday. Repeat. Sound familiar? If you are bored with a monotonous routine then it can be very easy to blame your partner, but before you do so, acknowledge your own role in the routine! I hate to say it but have you considered that maybe you are boring? Unless your partner is forcing their sedated lifestyle on you then you are free to spice up life as much as you like! If you are bored with your own life then the relationship may not be the problem, unless you expecting your partner to resolve your boredom!
Is it the end? People change over time and this often confuses the situation! Have we drifted apart or is this just the next phase in our relationship? Before you throw all your hard work out the window with a breakup do your best to ensure that your slump isn’t a result of circumstance. For example if money is tight at the moment you won’t be able to go out as much, does this mean you should dump the relationship? It may even be your own issues with progressing to the next phase of relationships that is causing your discomfort!
So what do you do if you love your partner but you are still bored and your relationship has stagnated? Take the reins and lead it back to romance town! If you are aware that things have slowed down in your relationship then it is time to make an extra effort to rekindle things. Try and recreate the effort you put in when you first met each other. Remember when you organized a week in advance to go bowling? Or to the movies? Why not do the same now! Organize a date night together where you can try new things that will get you both out of your comfort zone. Things like cooking classes or live art performances are great ways of re-bonding, having a great time and also turning up the romance meter!
Over time relationships naturally slow down. Part of this is getting comfortable with each other and I also half suspect it is part of getting older as a person. Before you breakup out of sheer boredom though make sure you have tried to rekindle the flames of love and also make sure that your own life is filled with enough excitement!